How much love can you receive all at once? That’s the question I’m asking myself for a while now. Just before I’ve been sitting on my bed and reading all the nice SMS, letters, album pages and cards I’ve got today. All containing birthday wishes in their own way: In drawings, photographs, collages, written words… from near and from far, far away.
Apparently you can get a lot of love at once. Or better, on one day. Today’s my birthday and while I’ve never been much of a fan of birthdays, maybe I should – in a few minutes I’m going to be sixteen. In Switzerland becoming sixteen means three things:
- You can drink & buy beer legally.
- You can go to clubs.
- Everything’s a lot more expensive than before.
But somehow even on this birthday I can’t be very happy about my new reached age. I’m no great fan of beer, I don’t like to go to clubs (I’m a rather concert or café type) and – who likes to pay more for public transports?
So sixteen’s really rather inconvenient for me – that’s what I thought this morning. And I’ve got to say, I still think the same way about it.
In the last days there were a lot of whispering going on about presents for me among my friends. I never expect presents; it’s totally ok for me to spend a birthday without presents – even the ones from my family. I just don’t like to be at the center of attention (The Happy-Birthday-singing in my Spanish lesson today was awfully embarrassing… I just wanted to run away, really.) and surrounded by dozens of people, looking over my shoulder and even more curious than me about the gifts I’ve got.
But as usually I was wrong. You know what I didn’t expect? The joy. When I woke up this morning I calculated that a lot of annoyance and patience’s needed to survive the day – but actually it started with my mum coming to wake me up with her traditional “hair-ruffling” (this year she left the throw-all-puppies-at-Stella out) and I felt so happy just because of this natural, common gesture. On the way to school I read the letter of a friend from Australia (she sent me a package – that was awesome enough!) and the amount of love I found between the lines had already touched my heart. In school I was welcomed by so many friends – I can’t remember in which order – it all happened so fast and when I opened my locker I saw that my best friend had already put her present into it (My first thought when I saw this was actually “Oh my gosh – how could someone got to my locker without my permission? Is something missing?” And no, I’m usually not paranoid about my school books.) and this surprised me so much (positively) that I already put my biggest smile on my face.
When I came to my main class they were all singing Happy Birthday. (It wasn’t as embarrassing as with my Spanish class.) It was so cute, really, even the boys sang, and I realized that in that very moment, I just wanted to hug them and never let them go, so grateful to have them as my friends.
And now I’m reflecting my whole day; just a few minutes before I’ve become sixteen (congratulations to myself), and sitting here – I feel that I’m not that grumpy anymore. No, after a whole session (1 hour) of responding to all the Facebook birthday wishes and rereading all paper stuff – I noticed the large amount of love and effort and time they all put in their little or big works of art. I’ve just been so egoistic refusing to accept any birthday presents beforehand; I know now that I can’t stop them from doing what they want – and when they’ve already but so much effort and time in it – I should rather appreciate the great amount of sympathy they’ve given me. And I do. I really, truly do.
Friends, family, acquaintances – thank you all for making this day so totally cute and bearable. For making me laugh and almost cry, for making me burst with happiness and smile like an idiot; it was all worth it. You’re great and I love you!
Also for the ones reading and commenting this blog: thanks to you all for almost 2 months of supporting! You make my day – everyday – just by stopping by shortly. Thank you!
Now a song that somehow follows me through my birthday (but has absolutely nothing to do with “birthday”):
It turned out that yesterday was the last day of my mid-holiday depression and I have to say that in this very moment I’m almost fully recovered.
This fast progress in my “health” I owe to the great consume of the Love actually soundtrack (especially Sometimes by Gabrielle) and the non-stop reading of Pride and Prejudice, the well-known novel by Jane Austen (my reading lasted from yesterday around 8 pm to today 4:20 am – I somehow just couldn’t put it away.).
I’m actually that fine now, that I even regret (a little bit) the loss of Backstreet Boys on my iPod – I didn’t realize until today that an iPod lends itself remarkably well for memories of your personal musical history.
I’ve got exactly 1946 songs on my iPod. Not much but enough for most situations in life: There are heartbreak songs, cheesy love songs, falling-in-love songs, political songs, freedom songs, happy songs and sad songs, songs to dance and songs to sleep and so on.
But I noticed that I do not know all these songs. Of course, I’d recognize them when being played to me as in “I’ve heard of this before but really can’t recall its name”, but I couldn’t allocate them to their interpreter or instantly say their names. It’s tragic, I think.
All the time I wasn’t exactly bragging about my musical taste, and yet I never considered it as tasteless or too much influenced by medias. I was, in fact, rather pride of my radio withdrawal (see my post a musical journey) or my (wannabe-)indie behaviour and considered people with lots of mainstream music as unworthy (yeah, maybe a bit over exaggerated but I can’t think of another word right now) – never considering that they might fully recognize each song on their iPod and don’t pretend to be something they aren’t anymore instead.
Too late I realized that I’ve developed myself further, that I just want to be the punk/rock girl from before – but am not anymore. I just didn’t want to realize it; that I’ve moved a bit more into the direction of indie pop and left The Hives, Incubus, Kaiser Chiefs, Reamonn, Evanescence, Foo Fighters and The Rasmus behind.
I’m ashamed now, to always “praised” myself as a rock girl when I didn’t truly listened to, for example, The Hives anymore, which I considered as one of the most inspiring rock bands (quite) a while ago.
This all left me to the conclusion that I have to – again – clear my iPod out. I want it to be the storage of the music I listen to at the moment and a storage for the songs that have greatly influenced me in the past. All in all (as I’m skimming my iPod) I can only delete 4 interpreters yet (haven’t gone through the songs yet), but it’s better than nothing, right?
PS: Does this post make sense? I’m totally confused. You see I wrote almost fully recovered and my head’s really still a mess, I’m afraid.
Do you know the feeling of the mid-holiday depression? (I don’t actually know if there’s a name for that, so this phrase is actually invented.) I’ve asked around a bit, but somehow no one seems to have got it (yet).
But unfortunately I do. I’ve got it. And that was the reason why I haven’t written for so long although I have holiday and lots of free time. Said “depression” (or at least that’s what I call it) appears (as noticed in my own experiences) mostly in the middle of the holidays.
Once I got it, I feel totally bored with everything (as if my life isn’t already boring) and nothing really inspires me. There’s a huge lack of inspiration because somehow I’m just not in the mood for getting inspired – although I really want to get inspired. And I’m really sorry but I think I won’t write a lot in the next few days as well because I always need inspiration to write.
Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and although I think it’s unnecessary to celebrate love on a single, certain day (when you got 365/6 days to celebrate love), I, at least, should be happy seeing so many happy couples giving each other amounts of chocolates and flowers [I won’t mention other people like, for example, singles (although they should also be celebrating – you’ve certainly heard of AVP (Anti-Valentine’s Day-Party))]. But because I’ve got my “depression” I totally ignored it and didn’t realize that I wanted to write about Valentine’s Day until 23:33 pm. By then I was already too tired to write and went off to bed, listening to All You Need Is Love.
Sadly I don’t think that love is the cure to my “illness” because I don’t really feel better after consuming music about love (and I’ve been listening to the Love actually soundtrack the whole day) and watching movies implying love like Invictus or The Blind Side. Even sweet “victories” like finally banishing Backstreet Boys from my iPod or finally rousing myself to read Pride And Prejudice haven’t really cheered me up.
Sometime this afternoon I even considered to save money for a weekend trip alone on my own to the alps, just to hang out in one of these romantic chalets and taking pictures of the nature. By that time I was even blaming my bad mood on my class because we’re 19 girls (soon 20) and 5 boys; and with such a crowd of girls it would just get so complicated and exhausting sometimes that even my holiday life is affected. Yeah, logical really.
So, I’m really sorry to bother you with such a boring, depressing story about the past few days, but I just had to write everything off of me and I wanted to excuse myself that I probably won’t write for the next few days. I hope you’ll forgive me.
As a reward for reading the depressing crap above, I went though my iPod searching the 5 most cheesy love songs for you (lousy present I know, but there’s nothing else on my mind):
- Paperweight by Joshua Radin and Schuyler Fisk (my favourite, actually)
- Like Chocolate by Emilia
- Lost Without You by Delta Goodrem
- Way Back Into Love – Hugh Grant & Drew Barrymore (I truly don’t know why this is still on my iPod)
- Too Lost In You by Sugababes (Only on my iPod ’cause I wanted a full Love actually soundtrack!!! I swear.)
I decided to take a walk again, today, because it was good weather and a friend of mine wanted to see the landscape near my home. This time, however, I edited them a bit different – here the second amount of photos:
Yesterday evening I went out, to the cinema, to watch a film with my best friend. First we wanted to watch Black Swan, the Oscar nominated film starring Natalie Portman, but unfortunately my 15 years weren’t enough to let us in (I personally think that if the parents of today didn’t let their daughters out of the houses with faces full of make up and clothes in the size super-mini, people having contact with age controlling at their work wouldn’t be so suspicious and had easily let me in.).
So we spontaneously choose the first film that was on the program, which was Kokowääh, the new movie made and written by and starring Til Schweiger. He’s one of Germany’s best and most successful men in film business. I’ve already seen two of his films (also made and written by and starring himself) Keinohrhasen (Engl.: No-ear-rabbits) and Zweiohrküken (Engl.: Two-ear-chicks). From what I’ve known I expected some light-hearted (romantic) comedy with no particular psychological focus on the central problem, that is presented in the storyline.
Kokowääh’s (which in the movie is a “mishearing” of the French dish Coq au vin) central question is “What is a father?”; this sentence was also part of the description that the main character (played by Til Schweiger himself) used for describing the situation he’s in(He pretended to write a book about his situation while, actually, he was living the very story in his life.).
The story begins with the everyday life of Henry; screenwriter, 42, unsuccessful except of the soap he writes (which is dying by the way) and most of all, a playboy, left (or slung her out by himself) by his girlfriend Katharina, a famous and very successful writer. Suddenly he gets the offer to write the screenplay to Katharina’s book with her. He agrees and they instantly get closer to each other again; besides their almost everlasting bickering about their failed relationship it feels like the old times again, for Henry.
But there are other news as well. One afternoon a girl sits in front of his flat, alone, with only a letter from her mother in her hands. He first struggles, but then reads the letter to find out that she’s without much doubt his natural daughter and that he has to take care of her for the next 4 weeks.
During the next few days and weeks he learns a lot about children; about how to love them and take care of them. He gets to know his daughter’s “other” father, who goes through a hard time, knowing that his child was never his, biological seen. And most of all Henry learns about taking responsibility.
As I had expected the film focused a lot on the comedian aspect, it was very funny and witty written. I especially liked the dialogues between Magdalena (Henry’s daughter) and Henry, but this also could be because of the great atmosphere between them on-screen: Magdalena is played by Til Schweiger’s daughter, Emma Schweiger, and so to create a convincing father-daughter relationship on-screen was not that hard, I guess.
The problems of being in a patchwork family and having two daddies at all for Magdalena was not much set in focus; it was considered as rather easy and unproblematic for her. The drama part was in fact rather concentrated on the feelings of Henry, how he has to cope with and make up for all the mistakes he did in the past and how he tries to find an acceptable solution for the situation he’s in.
All in all a very good movie; it entertains the audience with the witty banter (mostly between father and daughter) but also had heart-wrenching moments; the acting was not brilliant, but convincing and especially Emma Schweiger was a joy to watch (She’s so cute! And plays an 8-year-old exactly like it should be.). The film was shot in Berlin and I personally think, that the camera did the best job on this movie; I don’t know how this style is called, but the color and light settings were perfect – the pictures are truly beautiful.
And last but not least the Soundtrack, which was fine as well: I mean it had rock music in it, so I was pretty easily convinced of its quality.
I’m no experienced reviewer and actually don’t know what it takes for a good review at all, but from my point of view this is definitely a movie to recommend!
Lately there’s always beautiful winter weather here in Switzerland; the sun shines everyday and it’s not very cold either! It makes me so happy that I’ve even got difficulties to not become one of those Facebook weather ladies and post a status like: “I luvvv suNny winter daySsss!!!! 😀 :D”
Instead I spent my enthusiasm on editing the photos I’ve made yesterday on a trip in the immediate area. Here I present you a few of them:
As you’ve read, I’m totally tired lately and I’ve started my holidays (we in Switzerland get “skiing holidays”) with a long, long sleep. This whole procedure of getting up, eat, Facebook, read a chapter in a book and sleep again lasted until this afternoon. It was such good weather that I had to go out for a walk. At the fresh air my mind became clear again; I took photos of the landscape and as soon as I was back home I got very enthusiastic to get inspired. (Sadly the short-circuit in our kitchen just before didn’t help me to get inspired, but instead…)
I discovered a new, very inspiring, very mood-lifting band! Well not exactly discovered as I’ve heard about them before, but I never got a copy of one of their cds and it was not until today that I listened to their songs. (Don’t ask me why I never search for them on YouTube, I don’t know either.)
Sugarplum Fairy is a band from Borlänge, Sweden, founded by Kristian Gidlund, Victor and Carl Norén (who, by the way, are the two brothers of Mando Diao‘s Gustaf Norén! For me, already an indication, that SF has to be a good band…) in 1998. Until now they’ve released three albums: Young & Armed; First Round, First Minute and The Wild One.
Wikipedia sorted their music into Pop rock; for me it’s rather (pure) Rock. I don’t think of them as Indie; although I’ve only listened to their latest album, there’s this typical rock-rawness that I assume is part of what defines them; and compared to Mando Diao their music is less experimental and more solid Rock.
This is the song that has especially lighten me up this evening:
“People will probably say that this is the most uncommon song on the album, but in a way it’s the most “Sugarplumish” song of them all. We never have any limits when we write our music, and we like so many different styles. It’s inspired by Bob Marley and every time you hear Bob Marley you forget all troubles and problems. I wanted to write a song like that, that just makes you smile. Music shouldn’t be so complicated, sometimes a smile is enough.” – Carl Norén on Never Thought I’d Say That It’s Alright
It’s 12:12 am and I’m tired. So tired. I’m totally sorry I haven’t written for such a long time, but from last Tuesday on I had musical rehearsal with the school choir and on Friday was the final rehearsal and on Saturday the premiere took place. Since then we’ve had performances every day and besides that, our class works at the musical bar as well. It’s all very tiring and after the third performance you’ve got enough for the rest of your life: every day the same routine, the same songs to sing, the same tiredness you won’t feel until you go to bed.
But in between these blurry and hazy feelings of weariness there are also very exciting things: Primarily just being on stage. The excitement before the show begins, running in the hallways between the dressing rooms, preparing the cakes and sandwiches for the bar, even during the warm up of our voices.
And then, climbing the stairs backstage to the stage, waiting for the light to go off and waiting tensely for the begin. Then the light goes on again and you see the amount of people looking at you, also excited to be there at this very night. It’s at this time that you really wake up, that you concentrate and listen to the orchestra and the soloists, always ready for your entry (?).
In the middle a break of the usually twenty minutes; the stress, the pressure is there again; but you’re excited to hear the reviews from the audience. Selling cakes and drinks at the bar, drinking some water yourself, the last time to check your make-up and then – being on stage again.
And in the end the best comes: the applause. You go a few steps forwards, you bow – all together, hand in hand – you go a few steps back, letting the next pass for their applause. The choir, the dancers, the supporting actors, the leading actors; the orchestra, light men, sound men and finally the head team: Director, conductor, costume and stage designers, choreographers, assistant director and other important people. All the while you hear the clapping, cheering, whistling and you feel so good and content. You’re fully there, not the least tired or unmotivated; being on stage and seeing that you’ve made people happy with the people you like, with people you’ve worked with for such a long time, who know you and get you, and have experienced exactly the same as you – that’s the greatest thing so far lately.