This is the first time I participate in the Weekly Photo Challenge, but since I haven’t posted so long, I think I make it up to you, readers, by presenting my favourite self-shot photo of the ocean:
This was shot while being in Spain with our school choir. We made a little tour through Catalonia, spending time in Tarragona, Montserrat, Barcelona and finally Llançà, where we spent our final days. Although windy, it was beautiful weather everyday and one afternoon, me and a friend decided to go for a walk along the beach, climbing over stones and paying attention to not slip on algae while enjoying our last days and the bright Spanish sun. Of all the shots I made during our “trip” this one’s my favourite; you can see only part of my friend’s figure, standing in a very natural pose, looking on the sparkling water.
Oh, I think I’ll just go look at my other photos, to dwell on memories… summer, please come soon!
Time’s flying by too fast. While in this virtual world I’m as slow as some snail (due to my lack of posting), in reality, time’s running away. It seems just like yesterday that my holiday ended, but actually it’s already been four weeks. On Thursday I think “yesterday was Monday” only to realize that the next day’s Friday. Nothing’s in the right time and place, and I feel as if I’m constantly lagging behind time. In a few weeks are spring holidays and then our home economics course for three weeks, and then soon afterwards summer holidays, and then 5th grade starts and I’m already thinking about topics for my final paper. Especially right now, seeing the current fifth graders hanging up their little papers with their ideas for their final papers makes me think of what I want from life.
I’m not a first grader anymore, letting time pass by and destiny decide of what I’ll be doing in the future. No, decisions are awaiting me soon. And with every year, every holiday they’re getting bigger and bigger. What do I want from life? I don’t have a clue. It seems so unfair. How am I supposed to know it with 16? There are just a few people I know who have already determined their profession after school. So confident in what they’re going to study. How can they trust us all at the age of 18 to make the right decisions? To make decisions this big? Are we already ready for it? We’ll see. But I’m 16 now and next year 17 and the year after next 18 and – you know – maybe it’d be good if I’m already thinking about the future. At least a bit. Because there’s this pressure that somehow, between school and friends and family, I won’t be able to think about it much.
And this thinking, this whole thinking is scaring me. Scaring me shitless. But at the same time this whole mess in my head is turning me into some dull, uninspired, lazy person instead. So I can suppress those thoughts. And maybe it’s the warm spring sun, maybe it’s my leaning towards nostalgia, but lately I’m daydreaming a lot, sitting in the sun, just doing nothing. Nothing relevant at all. And when I remember my current concerns, I feel like the biggest fool in the world to just spend time with daydreaming. And here, here we have the reason why I haven’t written for so long. I guess, I had just to figure out some stuff. Like, my life. My wishes. Myself.
Starting with easy questions like “Is the spring sun really making me lazy?” to harder ones like “Should I really think about my future subjects at college already now?”
And you know what my conclusion is? That in the end, it’s not that important. I mean, I still have 2 years to figure it out. And it’d be good if I knew what I’ll be doing in two years. Or at least have some ideas. But it’s not tragic if I don’t know it yet, either. And maybe this is so completely stupid (and tragic) that I refer to the twilight saga movies, but remember in Eclipse? When Jessica made this graduation speech and said that now, after their graduation is the time for doing all the mistakes, all the wrong decisions in your life? Well, it feels like now is the time for me to do so. A few years ago my biggest wish was to grow up as fast as possible. To become a famous shooting star or a life-saving doctor or a genial architect. But right now, I wish I could go back to 6 years ago. My biggest wish now is just to lie down on the grass with nothing on my mind but pure contentedness. And maybe this lying down and taking life slow is a mistake. Maybe it’s a mistake, but at the same time, it may be alright. It may be totally all right. Because it’s what we humans do after all, isn’t it?
We make mistakes. Then we learn from our mistakes. And finally, we do it right. All right.
for Laura, my soulmate
I’ve got an angel
She doesn’t wear any wings
She wears a heart that could melt my own
She wears a smile that could make me want to sing
Angels – Jack Johnson
Spring’s coming and to celebrate the great weather outside, I “borrowed” my mum’s tulip spray for a photo shooting.
Here are a few results:
J as in joyous. J as in Julian. Julian Perretta. And best of all J as in James. James Blunt.
These two names, the exact combination of these two names and persons, to me, pretty much sum up what it takes for an amazing night. And what I experienced yesterday night was exactly this: the James Blunt concert in Zürich with Julian Perretta as the supporting act.
Two days before I, so exited to go, started to listen to James Blunt-songs non-stop. It just seemed so unreal. A few months ago a friend & me decided to go to this concert the moment the first single of his new album was released. We were totally exited; finally a day that stood out from all the boring school days; finally something to look forward to. (And to make it even better my friend paid my ticket for me as my birthday and Christmas present – thanks again!)
So during our train ride there we were discussing which songs he’d play, which songs he should play and with which he starts (our guess: Stay The Night). Arriving at the Hallenstadion (the concert was sold out!) we fought our way through the crowd and sat down on our seats (Little did I know that our seats meant sitting in the mommy-section…), eagerly awaiting our man of the day.
About 8 it started. The amount of people attending this concert was gigantic, especially the crowd (or rather women, haha) in the standing room in front of the stage was impressive. Then Julian Perretta appeared. Until that day I haven’t heard of him before, I just found out that he’s already a chart breaker in France. But the instant I heard his British accent, I melt down. So cute! And he’s got a great singing voice as well, really. His music’s awesome too; a mix between pop and soul (and rock?). An example (and my favourite):
At about half a 8:35 or so he finished – and left with a lot of new fans (including me). Our beloved James meanwhile let us wait about half an hour. Then a man appeared on the stage; you could only see the silhouette, playing guitar. Strangely on the two screens one could see James Blunt personally walking through a door… until I realized that he wasn’t the man on the stage but really, truly was making his way through the crowd in that moment! Oh, how we envied the ones standing down there (and 2 friends of us did, so mean.)
And then when he jumped onto the stage, I finally realized that I was really there and everything happening in that very moment – the screaming, the clapping & cheering, the first chords of So Far Gone – was absolutely true.
I can’t tell you the right order of the songs he played nor how brilliant he was – because he was super-duper brilliant (Does anyone use that expression?), really. He started with So Far Gone, went on to Billy and just jumped from one album to another, which I liked very much. He brought so many good songs and live it sounded even better. He was in such a good mood, that I, already in a good mood, was in “best mood” – I swear after 5 songs my cheek hurt so much from smiling all the time. And he’s just so cute, how he’s that happy to be one stage and he seems to wonder why we were able to sing to so many of his songs… especially Goodbye My Lover: As you see in the video below “we” were singing pretty loud (at about 3:55):
This song was, for me, just the best one; not only that it’s one of my favourites but also his slip of the tongue (“I’m addicted to m…you.”) and – have you seen him blinking his eyes when the whole crowd sang? I’d so much like to believe that this blinking was because of the tears he had to blink back. (That’d be so cute.)
My friend and me, we sang to practically every song along – he just played all the right ones. It just could go on like that forever but sadly everything comes to an end and he finished his set with I’ll Be Your Man. At that point we were so disappointed – I mean, he hasn’t played Stay The Night yet! And 1973 somehow wasn’t played as well. He just couldn’t leave like that, could he? And he came back. First with a rather slow song (don’t know its name) and then, finally, the chords to Stay The Night. By then everyone had stood up and clapped and sang along; it felt just so, so great, being there and watching & listening to him with all those people around you.
The very last song he played was 1973, well-chosen I think, because of the nostalgia and such. But what I’ll remember for the future won’t be 1973 but 2011.
Afterwards we were so happy and in such a good mood, hell, I felt like in heaven. And when I came home I could see the stars in the sky above – the indication for a perfect night. Which it was, for me. Really, truly was.
You ask us to stay the night, James? We’ll do. Over and over again.
2 weeks of school and one week being sixteen, I don’t feel any different than before. I want to excuse myself for not being able to post often in foreseeable future – I just got into the dull, boring everyday school life in which the term “free time” is not included. Right now, I’m trying to ignore the fact that I’ve got a music presentation to prepare and several exams in the upcoming weeks; yesterday I finally managed to write a letter to a friend in Australia who’s doing an exchange year over there.
It was actually strange, you know, to write a letter. I mean a full letter, with your own handwriting on it, put in a nice envelope with a nice stamp on it. I remembered the times when I was little and used to write letters on a daily basis to every friend and every teacher I could think of (well, maybe a bit exaggerated, but I really wrote to almost everybody). Remember those times to?
Last saturday I had to clean up my bedroom and I eventually decided to sort out the things in my drawer as well. In it, I stumbled upon a mass of letters, birthday wishes, christmas cards, birthday party invitations and old, crumpled notes passed to each other during boring school lessons. A very nostalgic moment for me. I really couldn’t believe that once there was a world which didn’t depend on mail, text messages, Facebook or twitter. Where we (With we I actually mean girls because somehow boys never wrote any letters except love letters.) actually bought letter paper with the matching envelopes or better – when we even collected them and exchanged them among each other. (Remember the huge Diddl-Mania about 6 years ago? Now it doesn’t seem that long ago…)
All this seem now unbelievable to me and so I was almost moved to tears as I read all those letters again. The cutest was definitely the birthday gift from my sister, in which she invented a point-system. If I gave her a present of her wish list on her birthday, I get 30 points. If I read her a book – 5 points. And so on. You know what the crappy gift coupon I eventually get from her (if I reach 100 points)? That if she was at the computer and surfing in the internet, I’d be allowed to interrupt her and then it’d be my turn on the computer. Haha, definitely stupid – but sweet.
This all ran through my mind while I was writing the letter yesterday. First it was strange to have fountain pen in my hand and the paper beneath it, waiting to be filled. And then I started and wrote the first words down… and almost couldn’t stop anymore. It felt really satisfying to take the time to write a letter with pen and paper, decorating it with colours and putting it in an envelope. The most amazing feeling was when I finally stick the stamp on the envelope and wrote the down the address; while doing it I had a huge smile on my face.
And I think, in the end it’s just nice to be a bit nostalgic and old-fashioned and for once not being glued on an electronic device.