There are too many things on my mind right now. Too many to count, actually. Too many to write. Since I’ve got holidays right now, I should be writing much more than usual – at least that was what I thought – but instead my writer’s block refuses to fade away. I simply don’t know what to write about. And once I’m being inspired, my inspiration comes from little things, not big enough to be worth to write about, in my opinion.
But two days ago I got a very nice mail-review on my blog, which totally made my day. In it the person stated to have always wanted to start a blog, but just never knew what to write about.
And this sentence reminded me so much of myself in the beginning; I felt insecure about what to post: insecure, if someone would read it or just like it or if someone was interested in what I was writing at all. Now I don’t think that way anymore – or at least that’s what I used to think. I guess, that after posting photos everyday, I slipped again into my early state, this insecurity of what to write about.
But after reading the mail-review 2 days ago, I furiously wanted to set an example and so I’m ending up here, writing a post about what caught my eye today, although it’s not something too big:
’cause there’s no comfort in the waiting room
just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
and then the nurse comes round and everyone will lift their heads
but I’m thinking of what Sarah said:
that “love is watching someone die.”
What Sarah Said – Death Cab For Cutie
This morning I was listening to one of my favourite bands, Death Cab For Cutie. And somehow it was the first time that I really listened to the lyrics of this song because I just never noticed this beautiful, blue and mostly true passage: “Love is watching someone die.”
It was just one of those moments, you know, when realization hits you, realization of something that you somehow always have known all along but never managed to put in one, single sentence.
And therefore it never came to my mind – in this one, single, complete sentence – that actually, if someone’s dying – and you really love this someone – you’ll stay at his side, no matter how painful or how long until death has taken him. Love is not finished once death has come, but stays for much longer. Love is not walking away. Love is the willingness to take pain and hurt upon yourself to make something better for somebody; to sacrifice your comfort for someone beloved.
When I was ten, my grandmother died. It was New Year’s Eve when we heard that she was ill. We flew back home to Indonesia, but of course it was too late. When we arrived it was New Year and she already deceased. It was the most cruel new beginning I’ve ever experienced. First I was in such a shock that I couldn’t say a word; but one moment later I was crying my heart out. I admired her so much and though I didn’t get much time in my life to get to know her, the few years I spent with her were enough to make her one of the most important persons in my life. Seeing me so broken, my cousin dragged me to the coffin so I could say a proper goodbye to her. But instead I squirmed free of her grasp and ran away. I feared to face the reality, the truth, the beloved face.
I regret it until now, that I couldn’t see her last expression properly. That I prefered to look away.
I know it’s not the exact situation as in the quote above, but it’s the closest to the situation above I ‘ve ever experienced. And when it was so hard to just look at a person already dead, how much harder is it to watch someone die?
And here I’d like to ask you if you’ve experienced something similar?
At the end of this song there was this one question that haunted me for a while (but I’m not going to write about it now):
So who’s gonna watch you die?
I almost forgot to post this week – somehow time’s just flying by and I still feel like midst of my PhotoWeek. I tried to come up with several topics to write about but somehow was never in the mood for them. And I can’t write if my intuition doesn’t agree to the topic; it just doesn’t feel right.
And there’s also this realisation I’ve experienced early this week: It’s way easier for me to take photos – ergo post photos than to write texts. Maybe it’s laziness because I stick to the saying “a picture says more than a thousand words” but maybe I’m just not that made for writing. Anyway this all here ought to lead to an excuse (again) from my side because I’ve got to post a filler again. I hope that next week I’ll be in the right mood to write something out, especially because I want something bigger for you before I’m off to Hungary (I’m so, so excited! There’ll be a lot to post you about this upcoming trip.) and the week following next week I’ll be gone (except for the weekends) for a home economic course with my class for 3 weeks.
So and here comes the three (my three favourite versions) pictures (concerning my laziness this topic’s almost perfectly convenient because I only had to search for “one” motif) and I hope you guys like it! (And still stick with me though I’m not the most diligent blogger.)
Actually, I first didn’t mean to take this shot with this man in it. My actual motif was the trees, which to me seem like “one” together. But when I tried to shoot the trees from different positions and angles this man appeared – he caught me pretty much off guard, I have to say. But in the end, I’m glad that he appeared! Because he, walking this path so alone, to me makes this perfect “one” in this picture.
Today’s the PhotoWeek final, my PhotoWeek final. Last week just short before I posted the first shot, I thought that it will be like just any other week – but I was so wrong. Everyday I had something to look forward to – namely posting all these stories and sharing my photographs with you! And to you, dear readers, I’d very much like to say thank you. I never thought I’d get these much of nice feedbacks – thanks a lot! You motivate me and give me the push to keep doing this. This week’s has been a lot of fun and you especially made it a lot funnier by every comment, “like”, “subscribe” or even just by stopping by and taking the time to go through my work. Thanks!
Since this is the final, I’m going to show you all the versions of my favourite shot – I think it’s the best so far. But it’s up to you to judge!
The Story: Ha, I think you all know by now why the black and white one’s my favourite.
PS: Here‘s the link to the post, I forgot yesterday.
I’m so utterly sorry that I didn’t post yesterday. The thing is my father had to download something and work at the same time which means two computers were occupied and I didn’t want to disturb him because if he really needs to be at an other computer than his own it’s something important he has get done. But when I wanted to post today, unfortunately my sister, who forgot her latin book at school, was stupid enough to write text she needed when I wanted to use the computer (since I finally got the pictures) and not hours before and so, I had to wait. And to wait again, because afterwards my mum also needed the computer. Anyway, I’m seething with rage right now and don’t want to bore you with my stories. But since I didn’t post yesterday (this post here’s scheduled) I’ll make it up to you by posting two images of this shot. Enjoy it!
standing alone in the dark
your white clashes against this black
your good against this evil
your hope against this despair
your beauty, you lonely beauty against this shards of this world
The Story: I was actually already pleased at the way the original image turned out, but still I decided to edit it a bit and tried out some variations – and I decided again for some black & white. It’s sad that the violet of the blossoms disappeared but I thought it’d be much cooler if the blossoms had this perfect white against a rather dark background – the reason why I applied this effect.
The Story: This swingset belongs a playground next neighbourhood. When I was little I used to stare at them for such a long time because I wanted to go on them so badly. But I never did it because it doesn’t belong to our block and I was quite afraid of being caught playing on a “forbidden” swingset.
When I got there last week to take of photo of this swingset, I actually discovered a signboard saying that playing on this playground was explicitly allowed to the children of the block it belongs to!
Gladly, there wasn’t a sentence saying that it was also only allowed to these children to take photos of it.
To this picture: As always, I made some versions of a shot. The reason why I chose this one here’s because I didn’t want to lose the beautiful contrast in colour (green-red) but also wanted to capture the quietness, the loneliness of this playground, which somehow reminds me that you get only one childhood in life – and that, once it has passed, there would be no comeback (hope you get what I mean).
The Story: I actually wanted to focus on the flower in the middle, but somehow I messed up and in the end the background sharper than the actual motif. First it made me furious, because I was in a hurry and didn’t have the time to shoot a proper one; but now I think this photo’s not too bad – I actually got to like this blurry foreground.
And yeah, this is the first time I posted two photos in this week as you probably have noticed. It’s just that I made some versions of this image and couldn’t decide which one’s the best. So it’s up to you to judge!
It’s midweek! Sure you noticed that my photos up to now and including this one aren’t special in any way. The thing is that I’ve got two favourite shots and I’d like to post them at the end of the week – as a sort of “final”. So, I’m really sorry that these here will do to you (?).
that’s when she throws her basket away
glass shattering inside
The Story: This motif is also one I’ve always wanted to take a photo of. Inspired by the upcoming film (well, upcoming in Switzerland) Red Riding Hood, I decided to go into the forest and try to take some photos. Sadly, the sky is too bright for my taste, it doesn’t really add to this dark look I intended and hoped would match with the drabble above. But I hope you still enjoy!
Not a really gorgeous one, rather a filler, actually. Hope you still enjoy!
Like I promised, here starts my photo week with photos I took a week ago. They’re not the best and they’re not the most creative but I hope you still enjoy them!
I love this place
But it’s haunted without you
My tired heart
Is beating so slow
Our hearts sing less than
We wanted, we wanted
Our hearts sing ’cause
We do not know, we do not know
To light the night, to help us grow
To help us grow
It is not said, I always know
Little House – Amanda Seyfried
The Story: Actually, I’ve always wanted to shoot a picture with a cute, little house in it. But in my imagination the house was much older and in a very shabby condition, which gave the whole picture a mysterious, dark touch. Sadly I haven’t found such a house yet, but for the moment I’m quite satisfied with this one as well! I like the black-white contrast and the big trees around this house – they give one the impression of something dark and mysterious!
When people ask me what my favourite city is, my answer’s most likely to be Berlin, nowadays. I’ve only been there once, last summer, but this one time was enough to make me fall in love with this gorgeous city. I went there with my family and we didn’t expect too much, we thought “Berlin’s surely cool, but of course it’d be much more exciting to go to Vienna or something like that.” We were wrong. The moment we arrived there and stepped out of the train, we were amazed – just by the sight of the train station; with its great class constructions and how they arranged the escalators (I can’t describe it to you, the architecture’s just too cool.) this train station reminded me a bit of Bern’s but it’s just a lot, a whole lot, bigger.
To get to our hotel we had to take the urban railway, which I consider as one of the best I’ve got to know so far. It’s modern, clean and well-arranged and I also especially like the old stations (as you saw in the WeeklyPhotoChallenge post). But the new ones are also not bad:
I like Berlin’s traffic very much anyway. Although I don’t like cars that much (because they’re not eco-friendly), I was quite impressed at the 10-lane streets I found in front of our hotel. And although Berlin’s really a big city, most of the people there still ride bikes, which I think is very cool. Everywhere I went there would be people with their bikes, and there are also city-trips for tourists by bike.
There are 2 places I liked best; the first one is the Tiergarten, Berlin’s city park, which is located in the center of the city (actually like the Central Park in NY) and became one of my favourite parks ever. It’s huge and you could just wander (literally wander) in there for hours and still won’t get enough; there are so many ways you can choose and little paths you’d discover by accident. Because my father and me once got on such a path, we discovered these cute little bunnies, which just live there on their own (at least, that’s what it seems like):
The second place I like best is the Berliner Trödelmarkt. I’ve already made a remark about it in my post about my owl-collection because it was on these market that I bought my owl-chain. I love this market over all. There would be accessories and clothes of course, but also antique sofas and doorknobs (weird!) and buttons and food. But Berlin has not only this flea market, but so many more; we went to the arts market as well (near the DHM museum, the German History Museum).
Generally speaking, shopping in Berlin’s pretty great. Next to the flea markets, there are also the shopping areas – the most famous of course around the Kurfürstendamm (also Ku’damm). But there are also other areas, for example around Hackeschermarkt, which is the place for young indie labels and rather smaller shops; or also around Friedrichstrasse (more luxurious stuff).
Now, what’s left? I’m sure you all have heard of Berlin’s sightseeing, so there’s no need to tell you what belongs to it. Instead, a few photos:
Also famous: Berlin’s television tower at Alexanderplatz. As you see it wasn’t very good weather; that’s the reason why we weren’t on top and why I can’t show you stunning top view photos of Berlin. Instead photos of the fountain on Alexanderplatz:
Checkpoint Charlie; maybe it’s because I know what happened there, but the place seems a bit cold (in spite of the many tourists posing with “fake” officers) and the old buildings show that in spite of the length of time that has passed since WWII the history of this place will never be forgotten…
Within spitting distance a very cool and modern museum… the Currywurst Museum!
One day we also took a boat trip on Berlin’s river, the Spree; definitely something you should try out as well. We took a route that took us mostly to the government district; we see a mix of old and new buildings. The best example for that is probably the Reichstag itself with the main building in neorenaissance style but with a modern dome.
The boat trip started at the Museum’s Island (Berlin has actually an island in the city). A reason why Berlin reminds me of Venice and Amsterdam as well, is the amount of bridges it has – Berlin’s got 2100 bridges, actually.
All in all, as you see in the photos, it’s the variety of Berlin, that makes me like this city so much. Wherever you go, you’ll see past or present of future – it’s all there in this city, all mixed up in a very artistic, inspiring, unique way – Berlin’s way.
Songs about Berlin I found on my iPod:
Kreuzberg – Bloc Party
In Berlin – Sugarplum Fairy
Berlin – Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
ps: I’m sorry for the delay! I had a better, original draft of this post, but somewhere in the middle I got a writer’s block and gave up. This version is, I know, not a very good one, but I promised you one and I don’t like to break promises (in this case, actually I already broke it, grr…). Unless I’m not being caught between ironing clothes and taking care of a visa the next few weeks I’m going to correct this one for you, ok?
pps: These photos are not all of my own. My father did most of them.