words, worldly wisdoms & wanna-be photography

Archive for June, 2011

being a big sister is confusing

What is a big sister? These days, I’m asking myself this question quite a lot. You see, I just can’t remember what’s included in being a big sister. What I’m supposed to do, what’ expected of me and so on.
It’s just been today that I had a quarrel with my sister. It was totally stupid and a complete waste of time, yet we were both quite raged. Especially my younger sister. In the end she handed me the thing we were arguing about and throw an insult in my face. Considering the wide range of slang words nowadays, the insult meant nothing as it was common to most young people our age. And I’m sure she didn’t mean it literally and I’m not the person to take insults seriously. I usually just shrug them off.
But from the other side, considering that swearing and insulting each other using those common slang insults are inappropriate in our household (our mum’s absolutely against it) and also us being a traditional Asian family, the insult meant so much more. Not in its actual meaning, but further in the way it was total inappropriate behaviour from my sister’s side.
After dinner I told her that she ought to apologize to me. First she didn’t know what it was about then she began to defend herself by denying it. I told her that respecting the elder ones is a principle wide known in Asia, something everyone does and accepts and follows. I’ve been brought up that way and she should have been too, but with being the baby princess in the family, I don’t think the message got through to her properly. So I really emphasized on that and afterwards she wouldn’t talk to me for some time. Nice.

Just afterwards, as always after scolding her, I got my bad conscience. Maybe I was too harsh? I mean, who am I anyway to scold her? She asked me “Are you my mother?” and I responded saying that I’m not but that I’m her big sister, implying that I was allowed to tell her off too.
Now I’m not so sure anymore. She’s insulted me many times before, always in the manner that wouldn’t please our parents. That’s why I probably never told them about this scenarios. Because I know that they will scold her (or at least my mum) and, you know, she’s my baby sister and I just don’t like the picture of her getting scolded by someone else. I realized at some point that I just can’t do that to her.
And ever since then I took over the job of telling her off whenever she’d insulted me (It may seem to you that she’s a mean girl, but you know how it is with siblings – we needle each other on a daily basis.).
But is this even right?
I mean I don’t have a problem with her yelling at me all sorts of things – I’m quite easy with that – but I just don’t want her to get in trouble or embarrass my parents because of her unique ability to not think before speaking. Seeing that I’m supposed to be her role model, I really try not to swear too much around her (which is of no use, in the end: considering that her friends and their habits are a great  influence on her behaviour) and always being nice to my parents (Very hard at this age, but I try.) and other elder people.
But hey, who am I to tell all those things? I’m only her sister after all. I’m not even an adult. I’ve been disrespectful so many times in my life and I still am a few times and I bet I’ll still be a few times in the future. It’s not like I’m the politeness goddess or any of the like. No, I really am not, but I pretend to be one in front of my sister.
Sometimes I just have enough of all this and I know, it’s not something I have to do – being all motherly – but as I said before I don’t want her to get scold by my parents for some bad behaviour. I mean I don’t want to leave this impression on her, that I’m being all over-protective or a moraliser or a politeness guide. I want to be the big sister to her. The one she can go to if she’s got a problem or the one she can laugh with for hours or the one she’s being crazy with on good days. It’s not like I’m not all these things to her right now, but lately I just got the impression as if the other part of our sisterhood is tainted with me telling her off. She’s in the beginning of her teen years right now, I know, and that she doesn’t mean half of the mean things she says but still… I feel as if I have to teach her otherwise, constantly.
I’m so confused right now. Am I right or wrong? What’s a big sister? Is it included that I’m not only there for fun for my younger siblings?
What do you think?

Confused,

Stella

 

PS: I haven’t been able to comment for about a week now. I don’t know why but my comments on other blogs just wont appear… so forgive me if I always “like” your posts but never write something underneath it!


early risers

It’s been exactly a week since I’ve last posted. Since then I’ve got many ideas about what to write, really, but all these topics needed serious thinking before writing them out – and unfortunately, I just haven’t had the time yet this week. I’ve been super busy, having some exams this week and 2 concerts with the school choir; next week 5 exams are coming up and so I spent part of this weekend on studying (tragic, I know). But last week, when my PhotoWeek was still underway, there was this Weekly Photo Challenge with the topic “morning” that just didn’t leave my mind. I didn’t want to post a photo then but now, although too late, it seems to be the appropriate time for me to post the photo I had in mind for the last few days.

The picture above is taken in Bali 2 years ago. We were visiting our relatives in Indonesia, and that summer, my uncle had a seminar there. And so my family, his family and a cousin of ours decided that we’d go there all together and spend a week in Bali.
It was like, one of the best holidays ever. Especially because of my two cousins. In my mother’s family we’re only 4 grandchildren, 4 girls. The gap between my two cousins and me and my sister is big, but nonetheless we’ve always gotten along with them really well. Since I was little I adored them. They were the big sisters I always wished to have and we always had so, so much fun. Spending an entire week with them – that was the best thing for me. Arriving at our residence, it even became better: We four were allowed to share a suite together. A whole suite only for us. Although they were 2 beds we always would end up sleeping in the bigger bed together, sweating each night so much because this bed just wasn’t made for four people and we’d also end up arguing about the blankets as well (someone would always be freezing and the other three sweating).
Nevertheless it was the best week ever. We went quite a lot sightseeing, ate a lot of good food and just had the best of times. And then, of course, our resort had its own short beach section, where we would go to in the evenings after a long day. Once we came home quite late and the moon had already risen and so we decided to run all the way down to this little beach section. It was beautiful. Very dark though, and there were many little crabs around but nonetheless a one-time experience.
Because it was so beautiful, we decided to go there again, preferably early in the morning to watch the sun rise. We never managed though; we’d always get up late. That was until our very last day. We were really eager and determined to see this sunrise that we somehow managed to get up on the right time. We walked down to the beach and shot some photos but at the beginning it was even too dark to see anything on them. So we just waited. There was this pavilion (which you can see in the picture) and we would wait there for the morning sun to come. Meanwhile my father was off to shoot photos of other things and sometimes me or my cousin were taking photos as well. So this shot above could be from any of us (of the others sitting in the pavilion).
Anyway I wanted to say that I really like this picture. It reminds me so much of the amazing time I had there, enjoying the morning, the beginning of a new day and, you know, at that time, watching the rising sun, I had this feeling like I just got a new, fresh portion of hope in my hands. A handful of hope, reserved for the many things in this world that are yet to see. Because every new day, there’s always something new to discover, to experience, to enjoy. Because every new day, there’s always a new handful of hope waiting to be used.
And with this prospects we left Bali; hoping to come back one day. Because we know: there’ll always be many things yet to see.


little wonders

“Seven Days In Sunny June” – PhotoWeek

#7:

So this is it. The final of my second PhotoWeek. It feels kind of sad, not posting photos everyday anymore (or at least not in a while). These days, with all my final exams coming up, it’s nice to have something reassuring, something fixed for the last seven days. There would be easy times, when I just posted the photo, wrote a short comment under it and finished. Then there would be times where I sat hours thinking about an appropriate title, or had troubles editing the photos or my comment just wouldn’t make sense no matter how I twisted and turned it.
Still, in the end, I had so much fun doing this and even more fun sharing these pictures with you. I loved reading your comments or seeing the “likes” on my photos; it made me so happy seeing people appreciate my work. Thanks to you all! You’ve been a great support.

Now, I thought that I could end this PhotoWeek with a large, beautiful picture – but, unlucky as I ever am, my plan fell through. What I want to present to you are photos I made one day during my home economics course.
It was a cloudy day, and later around midday it even started to rain. We all stayed inside for most of the time, actually, even until dinner time it didn’t get really warm anymore. Anyway, we were having dinner and afterwards the cooking half of the class had to do the dishes as well. Since I was not included in that group, two friends of mine and me went out to enjoy some fresh air after being inside the whole day. We were chatting a bit, one of us took some photographs, when suddenly this amazingly colourful and shiny rainbow appeared all of a sudden. We just stared at it in awe and all the while more people came to stand beside us and watched in awe as well. It was so breathtakingly beautiful – I’d never seen such a strong rainbow before!
After our initial shock, everyone ran up the stairs to our dormitories, all cramming in their room for their cameras; and as fast as they ran up (me included) they ran down as well. Being outside again, everyone started to snap frantically, I swear if we weren’t all dazed because of this rainbow to really care, it surely would have looked very ridiculous to us.

I mentioned before that sometimes, I’m quite an unlucky person; and so it was utterly tragic that I left my camera at home for the first week. Instead I borrowed the camera of my room-mate and shot photos with it. I asked her to send them to me a couple of days ago, but she’s having a busy at the moment and when she sent it to me per mail, she sent them all at once. Of course, so they’d fit in one mail, she minimized all the photos – and I didn’t want to trouble her and took them as they were sent to me. When I was editing it, I was first quite shocked at how small they turn out to be – but quite soon got acquainted to their size. Sadly, I couldn’t enlarge them for you, as that would mean that they’d get quite blurred. But I hope that you’ll still enjoy it!

And actually, I’ve got to say that I came quite late and the rainbow was already fading when I was ready to shoot. I slightly edited the photos so the colours would look stronger but there are a few shots where you really have to look closely – sorry!
And now I shut my mouth up and present you these little wonders:




“seaside”

“Seven Days In Sunny June” – PhotoWeek:

#6:

And again, another shot of the day at Lake Zürich. As I told yesterday we were sitting on this jetty, spending the time with eating our snacks and enjoying the sun. But seeing all the beautiful surrounding I just couldn’t sit still and every two minutes I had to put out my camera and started shooting photos of everything surrounding me. This one above was actually accidentally made, and I really thought it would turn out to an ugly picture, total useless and such. But when I went through my photos at home, I was kind of amazed by this one.
I don’t know if it’s because the nice blue shade of the water, or the fact that I think I captured the structure of those wood planks quite well or even if it’s because of this little, weird orange “balls” falling from a tree nearby – I just happen to fall in love with this shot. It’s actually the one with the most alternatives because I had so much fun editing it.
What do you think? Do you like it?

PS: The alternate, darker picture to find on my photo blog breaking out of the golden cage.


at the chinese garden

“Seven Days In Sunny June” – PhotoWeek:

#5:

The same day we spent in Zürich we sat almost the whole time at the Chinese garden, which is a public park with a large Chinese temple in it (which we didn’t visit) at the seaside of Zürich. After some time sitting on a jetty we saw this cute little pond and moved our place right away. Since this pond is really beautiful, I wanted to share the photos with you and to keep it natural I also decided that there would only slight editing. Hope you enjoy!


sweets

“Seven Days In Sunny June” – PhotoWeek

#4:

This is a shot I did during my spring break, when I spent the day with two friends in Zürich at the lake. My friend with the passion fruit also brought this with her – raspberry drops. Actually I’m no great fan of drops since they’re so sticky in their own way, and it took so long to finish one of them (Oh yeah, just consider me weird.). But she made me try them and well… they’re not so bad. To commemorate the day I ate my first drop since a very, very long time – I used them as my photo models and this is the result.

PS: I’ve got another version here.


dandelion

“Seven Days In Sunny June” – PhotoWeek:

#3:

As I mentioned in a post on my other blog the other day, I’m in love with dandelions at the moment. I really love to shoot them. I never did before, because I thought they were ugly and too colourless for my taste. But actually they make a great contrast to the green setting and I can practice zooming with them as well. And you know, in some way, they’re just so cute and adorable – you’ve just got to take a photo of them! (Wow, I’m talking about them, like they’re pets.)


black swan

“Seven Days In Sunny June” – PhotoWeek:

#2:

During our home economics course we also had some sort of project, which means that we had to create something around a particular theme. Our theme was “colours” and so, me and 2 friends decided to bake macarons, these very famous, light, butter-cream pastry – in Switzerland also known as “Luxemburgerli” by Lindt & Sprüngli.
We decided to make 6 different sorts of them – vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, huckleberry, blackberry and lemon – and it took us about the whole morning to bake them. It actually was a lot of guessing around with the amounts of the ingredients because the basis recipe was only meant for the strawberry version. But in the end it all turned out quite well, we had some larger, some smaller macarons; some were perfect and other almost completely wet (the one with the berries). Lucky for us, a  classmate created drinks as her project and we decided to team up and have a sort of “garden party” for our class. For decoration, my group folded some origami crane and swans. As you can see, the black swan was my absolute favourite (as I didn’t fold it).
At about 9 pm everything was set and ready and we delivered our first macarons to the garden. Moments later the drinks came, wonderful colourful and super delicious. As for our macarons – I think most people enjoyed them very much and seeing my class eating them with joy had just made my day.


sunset drive

“Seven Days In Sunny June” – PhotoWeek:

#1:


all roads lead to a sunset

As I certainly told you like, a 100 times before, I attended a home economics course. It took place in the western side of Switzerland, almost in the French-speaking part. Anyway, our school was quite isolated from the big cities and so we had to walk about half an hour to get there each weekend. These walks were mostly very funny because we didn’t have to drag our suitcases all the way (two of our heads came to pick them up with a car) and so had a lot of time to chat and just enjoy the “healthy country air” and such.
It was on the second Sunday that I took this picture; we were just about to walk from the train station to our school when this sunset came into view. As beautiful as it was, you surely understand why I just had to take a photo of it!

(And I know, Sunset Drive is not exactly in Switzerland but these two words were just the first ones that came to my mind when seeing this!)

PS: Title (of my PhotoWeek) courtesy to the song “Seven Days In Sunny June” by Jamiroquai. These are all photos taken in May (but posted in June).


promotion

Hi guys!

I just wanted to inform you that I’ll be doing my second Photo Week next week, starting on Monday. The idea came to my mind while listening to the song “Seven Days In Sunny June” by Jamiroquai – it came to my mind that it’s already June and seven days are the perfect amount of time for a photo week. These photos are all the ones I made during my spring break (none from Hungary though) and the ones I made in my home economics course. I hope you’ll enjoy them!

By the way, the real reason I write is that actually, when I’m editing my photos, there are a lot “leftovers” and alternative shots I could have taken as well. I think it’s a pity that I couldn’t use them and so I decided yesterday to sign up a new blog, which will be a photo blog with these “leftovers” and alternatives. I think, I’d rather share them with you, then to keep them unused to myself.

If you want to check it out, here’s the link: trappedinillusions.wordpress.com.

Until next time,

Stella