words, worldly wisdoms & wanna-be photography

Posts tagged “blogging

Daily Prompt: Share the Love

Remember the days when I used to participate in Weekly Photo Challenge? Yeah, long ago, I know. But I was thinking of possible posts for BEDA this morning (these days everything is about BEDA, I guess) and I thought that maybe I could establish Fridays as Weekly Photo Challenge day, so that I would have at least 4 more days of this month covered and on top of that get my lazy self to work on my photos. Coincidentally, today is the very first Friday of the month and when I looked up what next week’s challenges were…. I realized that I may have to postpone my idea until next week. Why? Because I looked the challenges up after lunch and one of the topics was about lunch or lunchtime; the other one was about colours but I couldn’t find interesting enough photos in my archive.

This is the reason why I instead decided to have a go at the daily prompt challenge, which I’ve never done before. Today’s task is about the following: Tell us about another blogger who has influenced your own online journey.

I’m afraid to say that I already know that there’s no one particular who stands out in my mind. The thing is, as you’ve probably noticed, I’m not the most avid and not the most prolific blogger. I don’t have that much experience and my journey is so to speak practically non-existent. Because I haven’t been blogging regularly, I have to delve into the world of bloggers anew every time I’m picking up blogging, which means that there’s no one I have been keeping in touch with or someone whose work I’ve been following so diligently that he or she’d have had the chance to influence my own work.

I can tell you though which person got me into blogging: It’s Libba Bray, the famous YA author and one of my favourite writers ever. (By the way I was just about to link you all to her blog and when I looked up the link (because I haven’t read her blog for about a year) I saw that she’s actually not – as she was back in the day – on LiveJournal anymore but that instead she moved here, to WordPress!) When I discovered Libba Bray’s books and her blog, which was late 2007, I think, she used to be really active on LiveJournal. She’d post almost everyday, if I recall correctly, and she had a really witty and humorous blogging voice that instantly got me hooked on her daily writings.
Also it was the first time I was directly confronted with blogging and the whole new world that comes with it – and I got deeply fascinated by how different you could design each blog’s layout, how there are so many people on the internet engaging in those comments or writing posts themselves, how people can be so productive and write a text everyday… (Yeah, I know. But I was 13 at that time, so give me a break.)
Because I was set on improving my English anyway, it didn’t take me long to set up my own LiveJournal blog afterwards.  I was very confused by the ways blogging works and also greatly overestimated my English abilities. Looking back, I don’t think I understood half of what the site was saying and the tagging system was just one big quiz for me. It’s no surprise that I stopped very shortly and put blogging aside for the next few months.

I did pick it up in December 2010 though and that’s when I created this blog here on WordPress. I can’t remember having someone in mind as I was creating it but I do recall how in the first few months my mind would often wander to Libba Bray’s blog and how prolific she was. A great motivator was also Kristin Cashore, another YA author, and Scott Westerfeld, yet another YA writer. They never influenced me in style and posting format, I guess, but every time I’d pay their blogs a visit and see the amazing response of their fans or the amount of posts they wrote in one month, I’d be reminded of how much fun blogging can be, when you actually keep doing it at a constant level. The thing with blogging is, the more you post, the more fun it gets. It is exhausting, that’s for sure – but unless you keep the posts coming in, you won’t get any response at all from your audience, no progression and no motivation to continue. Blogging for me is something you do all the way or not at all; if you’re not committed then you simply won’t benefit from it. Or at least not as much as you could.
In retrospective, I’ve noticed that blogging has taught me a lot – about the English language, about writing, about internet culture and about organization; but first and foremost, it taught me a lot about myself and how to express myself in words. The few times I was active were already enough to help me to open up, to let feelings in, to mature, grow and become the person I am today.

Going back to today’s prompt, I can’t say there has been someone, especially a blogger, who has influenced my own blogging journey so I could, among other things, thank them today for it; but I’d like to think that Libba Bray, Kristin Cashore and Scott Westerfeld have deserved my utmost affection and gratitude, for they have introduced me to this world and have kept reminding me that blogging is a hobby worth pursuing. So, a big thanks to them.
And while we’re at thanking, I guess it’s time again for me to say: Thank you, followers, for still being here and still sticking with me. You too might not have influenced my work but I wouldn’t be here today without you all and your support. You’re among the top reasons why I haven’t given up yet and, despite all the hiatuses, am still running this blog. Thanks.

Until next time,
Stella


New Layout!

As I said in yesterday’s post, part of my BEDA will be the update of boredmaiden’s colour scheme and header – which I just did! I only have a few minutes left before the day is over, which means that I can’t write that much about it if I want to post this on time – but I’ll update this post first thing tomorrow for sure.

This is what boredmaiden looked like for the past 2 years, by the way:

boredmaiden

UPDATE: Apparently funny things happen when you’re writing blog posts around midnight and you’re already sleepy and tired; I really don’t know why I would count a post about my new layout as BEDA-appropriate. I mean, look at the post above and it actually tells nothing and I’d like to think that doing BEDA should have the goal to write about things – be it in a short or long post – that have meaning. Oh well.

I guess I now can just as well tell you what I was thinking about when I changed my colour scheme: So, for two years boredmaiden had this dark colour scheme and as I previously mentioned I chose it because it works as a nice contrast to my photos and acts as a neutral background for them. With dark blue, colours hardly ever clash. But when I was looking at my latest posts a couple of months ago and noticed how depressing they all were and how dark even the header is, I decided that I might need a change, might go for something lighter.
I tried out a few colour schemes yesterday – I first wanted it to be white, but this theme doesn’t allow a white – white background so I’ve switched it now to this cream tone. If you now scroll down to my latest photos, you’ll probably notice that the background and  the pictures don’t fit that well anymore – the contrast’s less obvious – but I’d like to think that it works out all right, which was my objective. Also it fits the black-and-white header I’ve chosen very well, in my opinion. What do you think? Do you think it’s obnoxious? Hideous? Should I change back? Should I only change the hue?


Introductions, anyone? (BEDA2013 #1)

Note: Because I started BEDA 3 days late, this post is going to be a “substitute” for my missing BEDA #1 entry.

So I was checking my mail box this morning and I was really, really surprised to see this nice line of unread mails in my inbox informing me about your likes on yesterday’s post. I mean, it’s not a huge number or anything but it sure is huge enough by this blog’s standard – especially considering the fact that it was a text post. So thank you lots! And again, don’t hesitate to comment below – likes are nice and all, but hearing from you would be even nicer!

I also got some new followers (Hi, new followers!), which made me realize that I haven’t done any kind of introduction for some time now. Sure, there is the one on my about-page, but I think a small introduction would be appropriate what with me starting BEDA and this being unofficially my first BEDA post.

I know though that introductions can turn out incredibly lengthy and more narcissistic than planned; so I decided to compile some “meet the blogger”-posts from tumblr and answer a few dozens of those short questions.

Here we go:

Name: Stella
Age: 18
Favourite colour: Green
Best school subject(s): English, German (Who actually comes up with questions like this one, really…) 
Mac or PC: PC
Current shirt colour: Black. (I always wear black shirts when the opportunity to wear one comes up.)
Gamer: Not really.
Day or night: I prefer the wee hours of morning – when the day technically has begun but the night hasn’t fully receded.
Celebrity crush: Keira Knightley and James McAvoy; also Ashley Clements and Daniel Vincent Gordh (although they’re not celebrities yet, I suppose)
Favourite food: Indonesian, Italian and Vietnamese cuisine
Where are you from?: Lovely Switzerland! (The small country in the middle of Europe.)

Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed? Um, closed?
Do you take the shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? I do have a weird fetish to collect those hotel goodies as travel souvenirs…
Where is your next vacation? The Netherlands and Germany
Who do you think reads these? My followers who probably have already stopped after the first question
What’s your plan for the day? Well, the day ends soon, so I hope I’ll manage to write my BEDA post for today.
Are you reading any books right now? Yes, several: Game of Thrones, Balzac et la petite tailleuse chinoise, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, There Is No Dog, The Tiger’s Wife, High Fidelity, Never Let Me Go, Lean on Pete and a couple more. I’m actually one of those people who start to read dozens of different books but have a hard time to finish them all.
Do you ever count your steps when you walk? No, why should I?
Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing? Not really…
Do you chew on your pens and pencils? Hardly.
What is your “song of the week”? There are a few: “Good Man” by Josh Ritter, “The Great Northwest” by Mighty Oaks, “All of This” by The Naked and Famous
Do you still watch cartoons? Sure!
What movies could you watch over and over and still love? Oh, so many: Atonement, Pride & Prejudice, Love Actually, The Boat That Rocked, Easy A, Becoming Jane, Juno, Red Cliff, Mulan, Invictus, Harry Potter series and many, many more
When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? A friend of mine recently had her birthday and I usually write my birthday letters by hand.
What is your usual bedtime? Sometime between late night and before sunrise.
Are you lazy? Are you crazy? I’m the epitome of lazy.
Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Actor, director, architect, teacher, writer, designer, librarian, vet, interpreter
Tea or coffee? Both!

And finally… I’m done! What I’ve learned from doing this: Never again should I answer tumblr introduction questionnaires. They’re silly and time-consuming. If you’re reading this, I admire you for your patience. Thanks for sticking with me until here and see you tomorrow!

Stella


BEDA 2013 and other news

So I’m actually supposed to be working on a presentation right now, but here I am, procrastinating as usual and spontaneously deciding to blog again after a months-long hiatus (also as usual).

The thing is, I miss talking / writing to you guys. And tonight I just had the irrepressible urge to blog again after a long pause – and who am I to deny my heart its most ardent wishes? (I’ll just excuse myself by saying that you’ve got to let the creative mind do what it wants to do whenever it wants to do it – or the missed opportunity of being inspired for a moment will haunt you forever.)

I actually don’t even know what to write about and it feels so weird to be writing again: It’s a mix between familiarity and strangeness – on one hand my fingers know what they want to type but on the other hand they hesitate ever so slightly as if not sure if what they’re doing is right. It also feels weird to write so formally again, after such a long time, or to carefully think about when to begin a new paragraph – on most social media platforms I hardly ever check my spelling or grammar or structure and I have a tendency to write without much planning. (Which I am actually doing as well right now.)

I guess I can update you on my life though; a lot has happened in the past few months, and I think I do have enough to talk about for the near future once I’ve thought things through and made a plan. So far I can say this:

1.) Remember how I wanted to write a post about introversion? Turns out I somehow lost half of my notes. The topic is very important to me though, so I’ll definitely write about it some day (when I’ll have rewritten my notes) and hope you’ll still want to read about it then. (Thanks for being patient and ignoring my inability to keep promises, by the way.)

2.) A post I could write with less preparation though would be about the ways internet has changed my life – and it’s something I’ve wanted to write for such a long time now, so you might get to read it in a couple of weeks. (I won’t make any promises anymore, ever, since I’m apparently really bad at keeping them.) The post will tell the story of how I got involved in the internet in the first place, when that happened and how it has affected me and my life.

3.) Third, I’ve just decided to participate in BEDA 2013! So you all know how bad I am at challenges or challenging myself but I guess you also know by now how much I like to try and try again to actually conclude one.
This time it’s BEDA which stands for Blog Every Day in April, which in turn is the writing version of VEDA (Vlog Every Day in April) and means that I’m going (to attempt to) blog every day. I don’t think there are any rules to it except the blogging every day part, which gives me all the freedom to choose between short or long posts, text posts or photo posts, telling stories or recommending something. Sounds exciting, right?

Yeah, I know, a lot of you are probably sighing at the moment, saying “you’re not going to write every day Stella, you know you won’t, and anyway, you’re already three days late” but… I don’t know, I’ve just got a better feeling this time since some of my internet friends and a lot of people I’m following are either participating in BEDA or VEDA and that is an actual motivator for me. (They’re all ridiculously prolific.)

To give you an idea what I’m going to talk about, here’s a list of topics I could imagine writing/posting about (no guarantees though):

  • As mentioned above in 2.) “How the Internet Has Changed My Life”
  • “A Short Introduction to Webshows”
  • Teenage ramblings à la “I’m soon going to finish school – Arrgh!” or “University – help me!” or “I Feel Mopey and Depressed – A Post about Common Adolescent Angsting”
  • A post featuring my latest photography
  • Recommendations of compilations of articles on a specific topic you should read (which is rather reblogging than blogging, I guess) e.g. campus sexism, internet culture etc. or recommendations of bands you might want to check out or recommendations of other websites (link lists)…
  • Travel reports of amazing places I’ve been
  • Posts about events that happened recently

But maybe you have something you’d like me to post about? If so, don’t hesitate to tell me and write down your suggestion in the comments below. I’m generally open for anything and try my best to write about everything (since this blog has no concept anyway). Or maybe you have something of the list above you’d really like to see? Just tell me, I’d love to hear a response from you in any kind of way. And I know I’m not the best at replying very fast or sometimes I would forget to reply, but I do read each and everyone of your comments and am genuinely happy about each of them, really! Some of you have also written feedback per e-mail, which is totally alright, too.

4.) I know this blog has never changed its appearance in its almost 2 1/4 year-long existence but I’m actually thinking of changing parts of the layout. But before I do that I want to know what you think. Should I leave it like this or should I change? Do you associate this blog especially with its layout?

I’m not thinking about changing my theme since this one displays text as well as photo posts so perfectly; but I’ve been thinking of changing the background to a lighter colour maybe. I know that the dark blue goes well with a lot of different photos, which was really important to me at the beginning but I think a white or crème or beige background would fit well, too. And maybe I’ll also change my header. What do you think?

As always, thanks for reading and sticking with me – see you tomorrow!

Stella

PS: Today, I’ve unusually used a lot of slang words – I’m sorry, I’ll try to be more formal next time.


2012: Looking back

WARNING: Don’t read unless you have an enormous patience for grammar mistakes and wrong spelling and colloquial language. I was moody and grumpy and tired when I wrote this so a lot might not make sense. Sorry!

I’m back! And as promised here the posts informing the interested ones among you what I’ve been up to (I actually said what I’ve been up to in the last couple of months but I figured a reflection on the whole last year would be just as good). About some of the mentioned experiences and happenings I’ll probably post something more detailed sometime so I just talk about them briefly.

First the good things that happened to me (I was actually surprised that there were more than 5 bullet points on my list):

1. This May the Mia Patria Choir (MPC) from Jakarta, Indonesia has come to Switzerland during their Europe tour! The MPC is basically a professional catholic choir from Indonesia singing and playing music partly for services (then church music) and for shows (traditional Indonesian music). Their coming to Switzerland was my personal highlight of 2012: I’ve never felt so truly, satisfyingly happy before or after meeting them.
My family and a lot of other family friends spent with them 2 amazing weekends – my family was among the most active because my mother was part of the organizational committee and therefore we practically went to all their shows and had to stay the night nearby (when they had concerts at two close places which were far away from our home town).
During that time I had the chance to meet amazing, lovable people from my home country and being surrounded by Indonesian culture and music and food got me on such a high like never before. I was part of the photographing team (I was ‘appointed’ by my mum) and it was the best thing that could have happened to me. A lot of our family friends take photographs in their free time too, and having all those more experienced photographers around was wonderful and extremely beneficial – at times I felt like an apprentice learning from masters.
I won’t say more though; I want to recommend them and their music in a post later this year.

2. + 3. I bought myself a new camera! I’m still so excited by looking at it and getting all giddy inside…. don’t ask. I’m weird. But yes, this is the second highlight of my year and it’s – I actually have told you that already but it’s so worth repeating – a Canon EOS 550D and it’s my biggest treasure and I love it and I’m so satisfied with it. I’ve saved money for a camera for such a long time and I still can’t believe that I finally did it.
I’m not that proficient in handling it yet but I’ve realised that slowly, I’m making small progresses along the way and I’m very happy with the way things are at the moment. (Wow, how eloquent of me.) I started out mostly shooting in half-automatic mode and a couple of months ago I finally began to take photos in the manual mode. It was frightening at the beginning and I often confused one setting with the other but I’m making less and lesser mistakes now.

Coupled with this event is actually a recent one: I got a brand new, only-for-me-to-use 1TB hard disk from my dad! Yay! You probably never thought that a 17-year-old girl could get that excited over a hard disk but I can. I am. I’ve been hijacking my dad’s own hard disk for far too long and my photo archive is getting bigger and messier every day. It’s actually a win-win situation: My day gets his own hard disk back and I finally found a place large enough to contain my photos. The negative side was the many hours that I spent sorting out new files and old files I had next to my photos and the many more hours I spent on categorizing and sorting out my photo archive. It’s finally done though and I’m super, super happy.
And because I have an actually organized archive now it’s so much easier to look for photos for my blogs… which is awesome for me and awesome for you.

4. I finished my Goodreads Reading Challenge 2012! I set up a goal of reading 30 books last year which I eventually and very narrowly only managed because of all the school books we had to read. Thanks, school! You are useful for something after all.

5. I got to travel to amazing places! There was Sicily with our school choir this spring and then my Singapore-Indonesia-tour this summer (I’ll post about both.) of which the latter was even more amazing because I got to see my cousins and my grandmother and the whole extended family again. I didn’t always felt at ease there (my ‘condition’ unfortunately didn’t vanish for summer holidays) but it definitely felt like home and like heaven and at the end of the summer I looked back with good memories in my mind.

6. This autumn/winter highlight was the Florence + The Machine (FATM) concert which I attended with a couple of friends. FATM has always been one of my favourite bands ever since I discovered them but I think that after the concert they started to play an even more important role in my life. Especially Florence Welch, as lively and energetic and creative as she is, has always been an inspiration to me and thus seeing her live on stage got me on a high shortly before the concert, during the concert and shortly after the concert. Doesn’t seem like much but these days I’m craving for even the smallest bits and pieces of happiness.

7. Last but not least – I finished my final paper! Yay! I first didn’t know if I should put it in the positive or negative list because it’s been so much work. And with ‘much’ I mean enormously, life-consumingly much. I swear, I don’t think I could ever describe the amount of hours I worked on it properly and the endless frustration that came with it (especially since you didn’t need 95% of the painfully patiently collected research material in the end anyway). Eventually, after about 9 months researching and working and frustrating on it and pulling some all-nighters for last corrections I managed to write a 60 (65?) pages long paper (with appendix though). I don’t even want to think of having to do that on a regular basis in university next year…

Looking back it does seem like I had a good year but I probably should show the other side, too:

1. We moved house. And it’s painful to think about it and I admit I still wouldn’t feel slightly at home if it weren’t for the fact that my family lives here too but I guess it will take another couple of years for me to accept this place as my new home. (It’s only a couple of houses down the street but it feels like a completely different world.) I don’t know if I’m ever going to write about this experience (and I tried a couple of times, believe me) but I do know now that you can shed a gazillion tears for an old, wooden table. Or for a bedstead. Or for a white wall.

2. At the beginning of the year I actually started to count the times that I hung out with my best friend. We both have very different schedules and other people in our lives too, so that for a couple of years we haven’t been able to see each other as much as we’d like; but I don’t think it has reached such an all-time-low as last year. And that was the year I was counting and actually could improve the whole situation by communicating more with her (we both are also non-texters…) but I just don’t know – every time I felt like I could do something with her I was way too tired for any kind of interaction or communication, especially with human beings that I know. And I should probably receive the ‘worst friend award’ for this, I know, but at so many days I felt so incredibly tired and at a lack of energy.
It wasn’t even always the physical energy but more of an inner one, you know what I mean? I generally get frustrated with other people so easily and it always takes me a lot of this inner energy to interact with basically anyone. This year my energy has been needed at other places too, so I guess that friends were somewhere near the bottom of my priority list. (It sounds rude but it’s true and I wish I could find a nicer way to phrase it.)
Moreover, we both, my best friend and I, are very relaxed about our relationship. I won’t say that this lack of time together doesn’t have its effect – because it does. It does so heavily, and when I once used to know so many facts about her, I’d be glad if I can get 5 things right about her nowadays. Lack of intimacy has caused a change in the superficial part of our relationship which revolves around the momentary well-being and preferences of the other. But the essence of our friendship, the core of it and what has brought and kept us together for all these years – that hasn’t changed and, I hope, will never change.
The problem that we both know this leads in me (I’m not 100% sure about her) sort of taking this friendship for granted, which, I know, I never ever should do. And I hate it but I can’t help it and I don’t know how to fight it and it doesn’t occupy my mind as much as it should these days. I guess, I can only hope (and work on it!) that this year our friendship will get much more intimate again.

3. And last about my ‘condition’ (I have to find a better name for it): I don’t know how eloquent and articulate I’m going to be (probably not at all) because I’m not used to writing about it – and I’m still not 100% ready for writing about it – but I’m going to try to describe the general state of this year in a couple of sentences. (I’ll write a couple more posts about it later this year.)
I actually thought for a long time that at the beginning of last year I experienced the peak of my ‘condition’. It was quite dramatic then, I guess, because I showed it like never before (and I was never supposed to show it). I don’t know how many people noticed, if anyone has noticed but I felt pretty naked and exposed at that time, especially because so many things coincided then and I was overwhelmed by the gigantic pile of emotions I had on a weekly basis. But then this autumn/winter happened. I already told a couple of people (not that there are many who know about this personally, so ‘a couple’ = max. 3) that I was bettering and it’s going upwards and whatnot but I didn’t realise that I experienced a new aspect of my ‘condition’. Looking at it, I think that you could compare spring 2012 to a raging storm because then I was the loudest; but this winter seems more to be of the ‘horrendous aftermath/possible build-up for another storm’-silence kind because my anxiety etc. more often than not expressed itself in physical pressure I feel (and leads over then to mental pressure) than in outbursts as it did once.
And I should probably elaborate and explain more but it hurts to think about it and it’s giving me a headache on top of it all. So I’ll just stop writing here until I find enough courage again to continue.

All in all (and I might elaborate here more on a separate post) if there’s a lesson I learned in 2012 than it’s this: Patience is a virtue. Don’t rush into things. Be patient. (Because waiting for a better state is painful and after a long time of anxiety you tend to rush into positive things the moment you get a glimpse of them.)


2 years!

Dear followers and readers

As mentioned in my previous post I’ve been very busy (as usual, actually) and hardly had time to post anything on this blog. Last week was, in fact, the very first week I didn’t have to worry about anything and I took time off to relax and recharge. Some of you who might know this blog from its very beginning know that around this time I post a lot since it’s Christmas time and New Years Eve and this blog’s birthday. But I deliberately took time off from writing here as well, since (bloggers probably know, non-bloggers probably not) it always takes a lot of time to prepare a post and for me, being a self-conscious introvert, it also takes a lot of ‘energy’ and a little bit of ‘courage’ to share something of mine with you all.
Especially with my inconsistent blogging I’m always wondering how and if your responses to my text posts and my photos change over time or  if you expect something from me (and then what).
I actually started this blog just to write for myself – the thought that I might get followers never really occurred to me – and now I’m trying to find a balance between self-expression and meeting your expectations. I’m a person who, at times, gets rid of things in my system by writing. I’m fully aware that more than half of you follow and read this blog for the photos that I post (I guess visually inviting posts will always attract people more) but I need this space here for my writing as well.
This summer I’ve learned in an Economy workshop project of my school that in a market you, as a company, only have a chance of survival if you have a clear concept. Transferred to the blogosphere, this means that WordPress is the market and my blog is my company. And if you’ve been reading my posts for a while you’ll surely have noticed that I have no concept whatsoever. It’s basically a gigantic mess consisting of teenage angst, rambling, observations, photo posts, music posts etc. around here.
That you all, after two years, still follow me and accept all the sides of this blog is an incredible honour for me. I can’t thank you enough for all the support you have shown me in the last two years, the encouraging words and the fond comments. The many, many likes that I got for my posts. That I get the honour of being linked on some blogs, of being recommended to other people, is the biggest gift I ever received since I started blogging and it makes me super teary and thankful when I think about it. The professionals among you might think that it’s nothing but your appreciation for my work is something I’ve never dared to dream of and now have so generously (and surprisingly) received.

All in all, thank you so much for sticking with me and I’ll hope we can go this road together for at least two more years. Cheers!

Stella

PS: I’ll be away now until the second of January. From then on, I’ll post a text about what I’ve been up to the last couple of months and (hopefully) another one about my personal experiences with introversion and how it has influenced me and my life. Also, I’ll probably queue some posts for my photo blog, so if you’re interested for photos – wait for me there!


I’m back!

Hi there!

I’m finally back again. (Arrived back here in Switzerland last week actually.) And I’ve got to admit that again, I went against my word and didn’t write one single time! But this time I have valid reason: I had practically no Internet connection during my journey and the few times I had time was lacking so I couldn’t get a post done.

Anyway school has started again and I’m already swamped with thousands of things school related… But remember when I told you earlier this summer that my life has been very, very messy and uncomfortable?
Now I tried to come up with a solution to that over the summer and… I actually made myself a plan. A plan in which every single action that has be done on each of the seven weekdays is listed and that I have to follow meticulously or else… I will have to punish myself. (Don’t ask me how I want to do that – I’m trying to trick my mind to fear my threats to myself.) However I hope that my conscience will be much more present this year so that I can really, really get hold of my life again and restore order and inner peace in my daily life.
That would indeed be good as I also included blogging into my “schedule of my everyday life” and it would be nice to finally return to my regular blogging as of about 1 1/2 years ago…

So far I’ve scheduled my blogging for the weekends – the chances of getting some free time are much higher then and I assure you, the next weekend I’ve got nothing to do I’ll spend it on editing photos and writing the article about how my summer has been.

For all my followers, old and new: Thanks again for still sticking with me! I honestly don’t know why you would do this as I seem to be the most unproductive blogger on earth but I thank you nonetheless. You keep me going. And I know that many of you follow me because of my photos – not my text posts – and I tell you I will soon get something ready to present! I owe this much to you. 🙂

Cheers

Stella


to end a year

Laying in my bed right now and listening to the thundering sounds of fireworks nearby, I watch how the minutes on my clock turn from one minute to another. From 00:00 to 00:01 and from 00:01 to 00:02 and so on. It’s actually quite sad: sitting in front of your computer on New Year’s Eve while all others are out there partying hard or just enjoying an exiting night with friends.
But this year there has been complications and one way or the other, I somehow knew that, as so many years before this one, I’ll be spending New Year’s at home, despite this year’s possibility of breaking the habit.

Last year for example I could recall myself lying in my bed desperately trying to stay awake until midnight because it felt plain wrong to not stay up on the last day of the year and trying to think of some ways to stick to my resolutions I’d written about earlier. It was my first “real and official” time then; I had no experience whatsoever and looking back now, I must confess that I haven’t been that successful with my resolutions list.
I came up with exactly 5 resolutions of which I achieved:

  • 2 to a three-quarter,
  • 2 others to a half and
  • 1 to zero.

I was, of course, most successful with continuing to write this blog; it was my first and utmost goal and I’m proud that I haven’t vanished yet. The second thing was actually my sports-resolution (going running from spring on) which I really did – occasionally. My two halves are 1. the poetry thing which I did a few times but I sadly have to say that I haven’t been that creative this year and 2. searching for a new hobby. That one I managed only half: I mean yes, I engaged in that school play but it was only temporarily, nothing for a longer period. Still, I’m glad I haven’t been sitting around at home as much as last year (or better: 2 years before.) A failure of mine was actually the writing resolution (the one where I wanted to write a story) – I did nothing of that kind. I tried to find the time; but as you probably noticed from this blog’s content I focused much more on photography this year than writing and whenever I had free time I’d spend it attached to my camera.

All in all not a brilliant result, I guess, but rather a failure of my part. But I also think that this resolutions business may be associated with the saying of “Try, trial and try again”. And so I’m just going to try again with these:

  1. Keep on writing this blog; especially filling out the “holes” and motivating myself much more.
  2. Getting a DSLR camera and start shooting at whatever comes my way.
  3. Figuring out a topic for my final paper (is due anyway).
  4. Trying to keep on going running as soon as spring arrives.
  5. Write a bucket list.
  6. Keeping as many promises as possible.
  7. Learning a few star constellations.
  8. Starting to read a few English literature classics.
  9. Stay individual.
  10. Be myself.
  11. Be happy.

And now I’m just going to ignore the fact that this list is far too long and it makes it just so much harder to accomplish all these goals Happy New Year to you all!


one year of blogging

Truth to be told I’ve got this (original boring) title already last year figured out. I always saw it clearly in my head, with a text of medium length, beneath it everything clear and structured, for it was my goal. A year ago I set up the goal to keep on writing this blog for at least a whole year and I’m still quite astonished that I managed to do so.
Well, not too successfully but at least I managed to get a better result than the one I got with my first blog.
Looking back, it was a bit of a bumpy year and I see now that I’ve chosen my time rather unlucky for it’s been a year with quite a lot of things going on. For some this rather may seem as a fortune but for me it’s quite inconvenient – I always need quite a lot of time to get a post done and time is what was lacking the whole last year.

Anyway, so far, I guess, I’ve succeeded in a rather fair share of posts done; I wanted to write at least 52 to fulfill my PostAWeek2011-duty and I’ve written even more. In fact these are the results of one year of blogging on boredmaiden:

  • 1 page
  • 8 categories
  • 120 tags
  • 17 followers
  • 181 comments not written by me
  • 6439 views of all time (of which I must say most of them were of weird sites)
  • … and 73 posts.

Hooray! In fact, I’ve got to say that these are amazing numbers. One year ago I’d thought that by this year I’d probably have one up to two readers, if it even comes to that. But looking at these facts I actually feel immensely proud of what I’ve achieved so far. It hasn’t been easy for most of the time and I’m utterly and terribly sorry for the many times I abandoned this blog and broke my promises. It’s my goal for next to year to catch up with my work and fix these huge post-holes; I want a post for every single week of last year written out and published and I’d be damned if I don’t!
Most importantly I’ve got do to this for you readers; thanks to all of my 17 followers! The discovering of the growing number on my site stats have every time conjured in me various, very positive feelings: I truly felt honoured all over again each time I’ve heard of a new follower. And I was truly touched and I felt very grateful for the fact that you’re following me. I follow quite a few amazing blogs myself and I know that compared to them, this is nothing – and I’m not even talking about the differences language-wise.
I’m also very thankful for all those people who are not following me but still find the time in their busy lives to stop here and there to read some of the posts, to the ones of them who also leave comments and feedbacks and thoughts and generally being very supportive of this whole blogging thing.
Many, many thanks as well to the few bloggers out there who actually have recommended me in their blogroll.
I haven’t thanked you all but let me say to you, be it the first time or the most recent time I’ve found out about someone recommending me – you don’t know how my heart jumps for joy and I feel a lot like giggling all the time and generally being very childish and very girlish. It’s one thing to have your work being praised but it’s another thing to have your work appreciated through recommendation. I’ve never dreamt of it and I still have a hard time believing it these days. So, thank you lots for making me very, very happy in this busy year.

In the end, I guess, I haven’t got much more to say. I can only say that it’s been one hell of a year and a wonderful experience and lots of fun. At first it took me some courage to start; but now I even miss writing in busy times and interacting with all these new acquaintances I’ve made this year. I started as boredmaiden; I’m still boredmaiden at times – but blogging has taken away a lot of boredom out of my life.
So to a new blogging year! You’ll hear from me soon.

Lots of love,

Stella